ELEVATORS
Elevators. Technological Advancement...or steel death trap from Hell. As M. Night Shyamalan taught in his instant classic "Devil", elevators are simply a tool used by Satan himself to murder strangers on his off days. Last time I checked there wasn't an elevator to heaven. That's because the good lord knew that quick transportation in a metal box was a devil's deed, not meant for man.
This past week me and 40 or so of my closest friends nearly snapped to our death (Tower of Terror style) in one of these contraptions. Now I know what you're thinking, 40 people is way too many to fit into an elevator. While it is true that we were overweight by about 400 pounds, we are Americans. We live by our own rules. If we start caving in to this socialist agenda, telling us how many people can cram into a 10 foot metal box hanging by a string, then the terrorist wins. No we are not at fault. This was the elevator's fault for not carrying it's own weight (and ours for that matter) the way Americans are supposed to. That's why Elevators are this week's WORST PERSON IN THER UNIVERSE
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