Last we night we laid witness to the biggest night in Hollywood. A night where our country's most self-righteous stars get to sit through a three hour long bore-fest until some one hands them a gold idol to worship. The irony of it all is that we invite the world's biggest drug addicts, sex machines, and egomaniacs to compete over gold trophies on live television and expect them to dress up and act civil. And while it is a lot of fun to watch these self-righteous divas sweat and lose their version of the Super Bowl, this year's Academy Awards were insanely boring.
The Hosts:
Really? James Franco and Anne Hathaway? Who honestly thought this pair was going to work? Neither are particularly funny (unless Franco is playing a stoner). They have no hint of comedic chemistry at all. They've never done anything that would suggest they're even capable of putting on a decent show as hosts. The only possible reason they would've chosen these two was to appeal to a younger audience, which it obviously didn't. The only thing that kept these two remotely watchable is the fact that Anne Hathaway is probably the hottest woman on the planet. Aside from that every joke was stale, the opening was a significantly worse version of similar MTV Movie Award openings, and the dialogue sounded so scripted I felt I was reading. It didn't help that Billy Crystal and Alec Baldwin (two former GREAT hosts) made appearances. While both are good at practically everything aside from hosting, I think we should leave the on stage air time to Ricky Gervais and Kirk Douglas.
Kirk Douglas:
You Know...Speaking of hip, who didn't love Kirk Douglas' ten minute monologue before announcing Best Supporting Actress? Talk about awesome. A senile old man accompanied by Mario Lopez garbling for several minutes sounds like quality television to me. He sounded like Jeff Bridges in True Grit trying to hit on his great grand niece. Just pure hilarity. The only enjoyable part of the night.
The Awards:
By far the most predictable Oscars of all time. Everyone who was expected to win, won. Not one upset. Not one unpredictable wow moment. It just seemed like we were going through the motions. And even so they got it WRONG! Sure all of the winners were good, but the Academy could've done a lot better. For that reason I am announcing the nominees and winners of MY NICKADEMY AWARDS in the next post!
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