Since this is the first "Nicholas at the Movies" post, I'll explain a little bit about how this section works. Because you, the loyal readers of my blog, are in desperate need of my insight...I will sacrifice my time, dignity, and parent's money to review the movies that are currently playing at a theater near you. I'm a strict but fair judge of cinema. I don't judge the A-Team by the same standard I judge the Godfather. Still I will bring my wrath on those movies that aren't worth the ten dollars you take out of your mom's purse. Rather than do a Rotten Tomatoes/Metacritic-esque numerical review, I will do the old fashioned Robert Ebert-esque star review...except the stars are chainsaws.
The Rating System
0 Chainsaws - Instant Quez Craptastic (Alone in the Dark, Battlefield Earth, Date Movie)
1 Chainsaw - A forgettable turd in the Hollywood toilet bowl (Pearl Harbor, Fantastic 4)
2 Chainsaws - Pretty Bad but had its moments (Due Date)
3 Chainsaws - Good (Step Brothers, Inside Man)
4 Chainsaws - Really Damn Good (True Grit, Scarface, Inception, The Departed)
BOOM STICK - Quez Classics (Evil Deads I & 2, The Godfather, The Good the Bad and The Ugly)
So now that we got that out of the way...
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The Rite
Starring: Sir Anthony Hopkins, Colin O'Donoghue (first movie), Alice Braga (City of God), Ciaran Hinds (Munich, Rome the TV Series)
Director: Mikhael Hafstrom (Derailed, 1408)
Genre: Horror - Exorcist
Run-Time: 113 minutes (1 hour and 53 minutes)
Plot:
It's a text book religious horror movie. Priest in doubt (Colin O'Donoghue) looks into the darker side of religion to find his faith. He attends a course on exorcisms in Rome where his skepticism leads him to find an old exorcist (Anthony Hopkins) who tries to show him that the Devil does exist whether or not you believe in him.
The Good:
The movie has its ups and downs. If you're a fan of exorcism movies then you'll probably enjoy it.It has enough of the textbook exorcist elements to make you feel like you got your money's worth. At the same time it introduces Anthony Hopkins who really carries the film for most of its run time. A possessed Anthony Hopkins was as scary as any demon I've seen in movie history minus Linda Blair. He was so good in the final 30 minutes that he made every one else (and a bland story for that matter) look good.
Besides the acting the style of horror was good in the sense that it was eerie, not jumpy. While things do occasionally pop out at you, the film stayed closer to the slow-creepy style of terror that is missing in almost all horror movies today with the exception of Paranormal Activity.
The Bad:
Nothing new in terms of story. Pretty bland acting from the young priest and typical "I've lost my faith" to "God is real" story arc. More importantly the film wasn't that scary. While I liked the style in which the story was portrayed it was less scary than comparable exorcist films (Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Last Exorcism). It makes you feel uneasy but you never truly feel scared.
The Review:
it had its ups and downs but overall I liked it. I knew what I was going to see and generally got everything I expected. Add that with some incredible acting by Anthony Hopkins and I would say you have a pretty good movie. It's sort of a fifty-fifty and I could understand some people liking it and some people not liking it. Either way you won't hate it or love it, but it's worth watching.
The Rating:
3 Chainsaws
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The Rating:
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Very Bad Things
Starring: Jon Favraeu (Swingers, Director of Iron Man), Cameron Diaz (The Mask), Christian Slater (Alone in the Dark), Jeremy Piven (Entourage) and Daniel Stern (Home Alone, City Slickers)
Director: Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights
Year: 1998
Genre: Comedy - Very Dark
Run-Time: 100 Minutes (1 Hour and 40 Minutes)
Plot:
Bachelor Party in Vegas gone horribly, horribly, HORRIBLY wrong.
The Good:
Great Cast. Cameron Diaz looks really young and hot. Minus the one weird guy who isn't famous, all of the guys (Piven, Stern, Slater and Favraeu) play their parts to perfection. The plot is nothing special but the story is what separates this movie from the pack. This movie goes to such an extreme level of dark comedy that it reamins unmatched over 12 years later.
The Bad:
There aren't any jokes in the movie. Nothing they say or do is really funny. All of the comedy is derived from the situation, not from jokes are acting.
The Review:
This is one of the most "Holy Fuck! What the Shit is Going On?!" movies I've ever seen. Evil Dead II is its only equal when it comes to unpredictability. Get ready cause this shit is crazy.
BOOMSTICK
*** Instant Quez Classic ***
