VazPuig BORE-maggedon Spotlight

Any pretentious film student would tell you that there have been many abominations throughout the history of film. Some were made by the tireless efforts of the great Ed Wood. Some starred Hulk Hogan under the guise of a Nanny, an Alien, and Santa Claus. One redefined the term 'shitty movie' under the direction of senile softcore porn director Tommy Wiseau. Some would even say that Katherine Heigel's whole career is a character study on bad films.

None however reach the level of atrocity as the 'dance flick' Saturday Night Fever. This steaming stinking pile of grade A monkey crap ruined American culture in the 1970s. The premise is hot garbage. The dialogue is unbearable. The acting is nothing short of unwatchable. And somehow this masterpiece of shit is celebrated by critics.

Saturday Night Fever is not only the worst film ever made, it is the worst thing to ever come out of New York (the place that gave us the New York Knicks, Fat Joe, and Mike "the Situation"). It is the downfall of American culture. It is disco studded eye rape. Every time that movie comes on....the terrorists win.

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER

Starring: John "the Scientologist" Travolta, a bunch of other fucking obnoxious New Yorkers

Director: Joseph Stalin

Genre: Hot Garbage

Run-Time: 118 fucking minutes (1 hour, 58 minutes)

Plot:

19 year old Tony Manero dreams about one day destroying all self-respect and dignity by dancing like a puffy haired faggot for almost 2 hours.

The Good:

It eventually ends.

The Bad:

Every single thing.

The Rating:

I'm not even giving it 0 Chainsaws. That would put it in a league with far superior films like Encino Man, Santa with Muscles, and Meet the Spartans. What I will say is that Saturday Night Fever is a national tragedy along the lines of Pearl Harbor. It weakened our resolve, empowered our enemies, and ruined countless lives along the way. It is a VazPuig BORE-maggedon on a playing field of its own.