Ladies and gentlemen the Lord is a simple man....that's right MAN...and as such he enjoys the simple pleasures of simple men. Power, violence, decapitation, re-animation of the dead, just to name a few.
Among his favorite avocations lies competition. The evidence of this is overwhelming from the Hail Mary Pass, to the Immaculate Reception, to the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles of Anaheim or whatever the fuck they're called.
The point is God loves sports. But despite his enthrallment with athletics why does he hate hockey so much?
Is it the bone crushing checks?
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| Alexander Ovechkin quotes Exodus 21:24, "a tooth for a tooth" |
The moral and physical hazard?
Is it the New Jersey Devils?
Actually, Its none of these things. In fact, God loves hockey! Here you can see his one and only son dominating between the pipes. No, God does not hate hockey....
God Hates Canadians!!! Once removed from the unholiest of unholy French, the Canadians represent all that is wrong with the world. Sitting idly by while God's Chosen People, Americans, fight terror, tyranny, Michael Moore, and douche bags everywhere. Not content with the honor of being America's hat, Canada unrelentingly and unrepentantly claim comradery with the United States of Awesome while simultaneously undermining freedom, democracy, and the glorious conquest of the Middle East. Grow a spine Canada! and until you do God will continue to hate you and hockey.
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