In a stunning turn of events, Barack Obama announced today that he intends to run in the 2012 Presidential Election as a member of the Borg. For those unfamiliar with the Borg, they are a race of cybernetic drones that assimilate any carbon based life form they come into contact with.
The announcement was hailed by some as the most progressive political move since Jimmy Carter revealed himself to be a hipster. Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi had this to say, "Today we reached a milestone in this country's history. This is a massive step foward in the long struggle to help the Borg assimilate all of us."
The announcement was not met without controversy however. Klingons were furious with the President after weeks of speculation led them to believe that Obama would indeed run as Klingon in the upcoming election. Sarah Palin called the move "pure socialism" in her hourly twitter update.
The move has already led to substantial changes in the President's 2012 platform:
1. White House to be turned into Borg cube
2. Joe Biden will now officially be known as 'Seven of Nine'
3. $300 billion of new spending for time traveling Borg ejection ball
4. Nuclear Arms Treaty with China
While Hope and Change remain the campaign's slogan, it will now come with the aggressive reminder that Resistance is Futile.
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