SPORTS...BITCH

We all love Sports. Especially the VazPuig Brothers.
There is nothing we love more than humiliating, taunting and flat out insulting each other on the basis of the sports we watch.

Jesse's Teams: 

• NFL: Miami Dolphins + Annual NFC Team Pick (2011-2012 TBD)
• College Football: Arizona State University Sun Devils
• NBA: Miami Heat
• NHL: Chicago Black Hawks + Phoenix Coyotes

Alec's Teams:

• NFL: Miami Dolphins + Baltimore Ravens
• College Football: University of Florida Gators
• NBA: Miami Heat
• MLB: Baltimore Orioles
• NHL: Chicago Black Hawks

Nicholas' Teams:

• NFL: Miami Dolphins + Green Bay Packers
• College Football: Florida State University Seminoles?
• NBA: Miami Heat

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BLACK DEVILS

ASU unveiled their new logo, helmets and uniforms today. I have to admit...I love it. I love the new white on white combo. I like the new Basketball unis. I LOVE the new helmets. And the Black on Black is freaking awesome. I can't wait to see Vontaze terrorize QBs in this black nasty jersey. Beware Pac-12...ASU is Back in Black!

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Why God Hates Hockey (AKA. FUCK CANADIA)

Ladies and gentlemen the Lord is a simple man....that's right MAN...and as such he enjoys the simple pleasures of simple men. Power, violence, decapitation,  re-animation of the dead, just to name a few.

Among his favorite avocations lies competition. The evidence of this is overwhelming from the Hail Mary Pass, to the Immaculate Reception, to the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles of Anaheim or whatever the fuck they're called.

The point is God loves sports. But despite his enthrallment with athletics why does he hate hockey so much?

Is it the bone crushing checks?   

Alexander Ovechkin quotes Exodus 21:24, "a tooth for a tooth"  

The moral and physical hazard?

Is it the New Jersey Devils?

Actually, Its none of these things. In fact, God loves hockey! Here you can see his one and only son dominating between the pipes. No, God does not hate hockey....

God Hates Canadians!!! Once removed from the unholiest of unholy French, the Canadians represent all that is wrong with the world. Sitting idly by while God's Chosen People, Americans, fight terror, tyranny, Michael Moore, and douche bags everywhere. Not content with the honor of being America's hat, Canada unrelentingly and unrepentantly claim comradery with the United States of Awesome while simultaneously undermining freedom, democracy, and the glorious conquest of the Middle East. Grow a spine Canada! and until you do God will continue to hate you and hockey.

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Aaron Rodgers!

Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood is now home to the Lombardi Trophy. A-Rod stepped it up in Super Bowl XLV and spat in the face of the nastiest defense in football to win 31-25 on the grandest stage of them all. Rodgers was so good that he won both the Super Bowl and WWE World Heavyweight Championship at the same time. This is the first such double win since John Cena won the WWE title and the WNBA championship in the same night.

As Rodgers held up his new trophies, 22 teams sat at home crying, Brett Favre shat his Wranglers, and David Arquette had flashbacks of his long tenure as WCW champion. For this reason Aaron Rodgers is the BEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE!

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Nicholas' Best Person in the Universe...of the Week: 1/29

B.J. RAJI!!!!

He goes by many names. The Freezer. The 400 pound interception. The Big Muenster. And now he can add BEST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE to his resume. Last week B.J. Raji did his best Kool-Aid impression in the NFC championship game by intercepting stud 3rd string QB Caleb Hanie, and plopping his way into the end zone. 

His 18 yard interception return set a new NFL-record for longest return by a total fat ass. The interception put 7 much needed points on the board, but more importantly the 3 and a half minutes it took B.J. Raji to run 18 yards took precious time off the clock and killed any chance of a comeback for the Chicago Bears.

But taking the Green Bay Packers to the Super Bowl isn't the reason he made this list. No what B.J. Raji did was much more than that. In the gloomy and deeply depressing political/social climate of post-recession (?) America, Raji reminded us all that no matter how bad things get...there will always be a fat man there to score a touchdown and remind us what is really important.