Monday, April 4, 2011

THE WORST PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE...of the week

CLOWNS!!!!


Giant, Marauding, Godless Killing Machines. I've had it up to ten feet above my head with these red nosed sociopaths. These glorified balloon blowers are flesh eating maniacs hell bent on world domination. These white faced racists need to be locked up Guantanamo style, for every day that they roam  the streets...the terrorists win.

The Clown epidemic dates all the way back to the Battle of Thermopylae, where King Xerxes unleashed a horde of 70,000 Persian clowns (then known as 'the Immortals') to devour what was left of King Leonidas and his 300 soldiers. Since then we have seen generation after generation of clown induced tragedies. Dating back to 1700, 45 serial murderers were confirmed clowns including Jack the Ripper, Hitler, and John Wayne Gacy (Stalin was removed from this list when it was discovered his mother was half mime).

Ladies and Gentleman I warn you, take the clown threat seriously. If we do not act and act now, America will become reduced to wasteland of cheap magic tricks, balloon dogs and cackling maniacal face painted cannibals.

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